1. Ever noticed that you only get paper cuts on your fingers? Many librarians have discovered that if you kick books around on the floor with your feet, your hands will be well protected. For single sheets of paper, use your elbows.

2. Stress is a perennial problem in libraries, and it is often caused by barcode reading malfunctions. Save yourself time (and headaches) by dropping resources with uncooperative barcodes down the back of fixed shelving. It can later be written off as ‘lost’ in a future stocktake.

3. Overcrowding at the Circulation Desk during high use times can be dealt with simply by you going to lunch. Or morning tea. Or the rest rooms. After all, it’s part of your working conditions.

4. Coffee spilled on keyboards not only costs the library money for repairs and replacements, it also results in loss of productivity. Respect your employer’s property, and have your coffee off-site. As often as necessary.

5. Back injuries are becoming increasingly more common. Don’t lift anything heavier than your elbow, or put anything into your ears without bending your knees. Or something like that. Coffee got spilt on the original instructions down at the coffee shop, and it was a bit hard to read.

6. Weeding. Sigh. Professional bodies, existing policies, and those oh-so-perfect librarians who’s hair is always neat and never have runs in their pantyhose or stuff spilled on their ties and always know where everything is and always have the right answer at the finger tips – which noticeably are free from paper cuts and/or band aids (although we may have digressed a little here) are always harping on about Keeping the Collection Current and Patron Satisfaction. But there you go – you're going to make someone unhappy whatever you do or don't throw out. What the heck! Next time you’re having a quick smoke up the back of the stacks before going home time, just drop the burning butt on the nearest book.