Suvlaki Apostropole
Trachoma, Wyoming
Interfering with a person's computer access or use. On April 21, duty librarian Apostropole was captured on CCTV asking a group of teenagers to step away from the keyboard and surrender their computer passes. Apostropole claims that the young adults were violating the library's Acceptable Use Policy in accessing websites that would not have been approved by their mothers.
Maryanne Rosalyn Plate
Papilloma, New Mexico
Accepting an unauthorized payment whilst holding public office.Following the organization of an Author Talk, Plate was presented with a boxed collector's set of the author's work. On investigation, the books were found three months later amongst the cataloging backlog, caused by the staff reductions due to budget cuts.
John Eric Oldman
Anthrax, West Virginia
Disturbing the peace. Also known as 'Johnny' Oldman. After reading an illicitly received email joke, Oldman was heard to laugh loudly a number of times. During the library's opening hours on October 27, he repeated the joke at least three times, causing a number of members of the public to laugh loudly in the library. Complaints are still being received by the Library Board.
Cherrie Ann Cannon
Neuralgia, Vermont
Improperly using a Position of Authority. The former cataloguer for the County Library Services was convicted by the Catalogue Police of using an unreasonable number of added entries and local terminology, in direct contravention of the Articles within AACR2.
Yousef Armani
Myopia, Tennessee
Carrying a concealed or loaded firearm or other deadly weapon. Agents intercepted Armani as he attempted to leave the library where he was The Administrator, as he had set off a metal detecting device. Following a full body search, Armani was relieved of a Number #10 stapler, which was fully loaded. Armani claims that he was dropping the stapler over to a branch library as their own one couldn't be found.
Paul James Grimshaw
Gangrene, Pennsylvania
Making threats that could result in death or great bodily injury to another person. On February 29, Grimshaw posted between 200 and 220 overdue notices, stating that unless the books were returned a collection agency would be engaged to collect payment for the resources, which were all more than 12 months overdue.
Karishnapallabani Singh
Cirrhosis, Ohio
Shooting at an inhabited or occupied dwelling house, building, vehicle, aircraft, housecar or camper. Charges were dropped following an investigation which revealed a typing error in the police report. Singh had actually been reported as shouting, not shooting, at his library's annual Weed Sale when a heated discussion broke out on the relative merits of graphic novels.
Jeremy William Taylor
Impetigo, Maine
Possession of known drug with intent to distribute. On January 2, federal agents wrestled Taylor to the ground and removed from his possession a cardboard tray containing four paper cups marked 'Starbucks'. Taylor was on probation following his December 24 arrival at his place of work with two bottles of champagne and a bag of cholesterol-packed pretzels.
Darlene Leanne Fox
Amnesia, Kansas
Wanted for Drawing, exhibiting, or using deadly weapon other than a firearm. On June 10, Fox organized an exibition featuring her library's heraldry collection, and prominently displayed a poster featuring medieval weaponry.
Anna Lesley Parkins
Lymphoma, Delaware
Threatening public officers, employees, and school officials. On May 9, Parkins was supervising in her elementary school's library, when a substitute teacher sent four known 'villains' to the library for 'time out'. Parkins sent the children back to class with a note saying that there was a documented procedure for dealing with uncooperative students. The sub then sent the whole class to the library with another note. Parkins then engaged in ongoing conversations with the sub ...
Amanda B. Credaro
Sydney, Australia
Irreverence, unwarranted cynicism and distrespect for authority. Also known as Biblia, the Warrior Librarian; extended history of publishing library satire. Repeat offender - asking awkward questions of bureaucrats in public meetings; refusal to undertake insurance fraud in the case of books borrowed by said bureaurocrats and then lost by same; causing large numbers of librarians to laugh at ridiculous but unfortunately common situations; causing confusion to humor-deficient colleagues.
