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All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwize stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate should be directed to same.

Conferees at the First Annual Conference of the Website Cataloguers Association of Goriška were horrified to find that there were no books on display during their morning and lunch breaks. Many also complained about the sparcity of free 'promotional' gifts.

	Braving the empty trade display.

The conference organizers denied responsibility, claiming that a number of leading digital publishers had been invited to give away web sites in the sample bags issued to the attendees. However, the few responses to this invitation that were received were generally rather snarky. In an official post-conference press conference, the organizers circulated an extensive statement in Slovinian, which roughly translates as: " Give us a break - this is our first conference. "

At this stage, it is uncertain whether or not a second conference will be held at any time in the future. A round table has been convened, with committee heads sitting to examine various aspects of the first conference. A number of standing sub-committees will shortly be formed, with sitting members being asked to stand for the elderly and infirm ...

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Sensitive to criticism of overspending in heavy armory and the subsequent neglect of funding for library outreach programs, the Senate has authorised trials of the new Heavy Armoured Book Mobie (HABM).

Heavy Armoured Book Mobile.

The all-terrain vehicle is capable of delivering up to 20 thousand books a day, and will also provide access to full-text online databases, hard-copy of over 600 journal titles, and a really cheap cafe for people with nothing better to do than sitting around drinking tax-payer subsidised coffee.

Mr Larry Splott has been appointed interim administrator, but further staffing appointments are not expected to be made in the short term. Mr Splott stated that he would be "developing a core staff of casual workers - probably around five or six, as research shows that overstaffing of libraries is the leading cause of global warming." There was no comment from the Pentagon regarding funding for staffing, although an inside source revealed that the general concensus was that most government officials believed that libraries were inhabited by book fairies and elves who did all the work when no-one was looking ...

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At a loss for disposal of culled resources? Reluctant to hold book sales, knowing that some well-meaning turkey will eventually come across deleted stock and return it to you - expecting high praise and thanks? Worried that trashing, burning or burial of worn-out, obsolete, or inappropriate material will result in cries of outrage from people who have run out of other causes to support?

	Above: Recycled books made into a bookshelf.

Jim Rosenau believes he may have the solution. By chopping books up and cleverly disguising them as something else, he may have inadvertantly also solved the Library Challenge of the Millenium. If library borrowers don't know which pieces of furniture are books, and which aren't, then they may very well not be able to steal them. And there's no point in cutting them up, as they have been pre-vandalised.

This could lead to a whole new aspect of librarianship - Sanctioned Removal. By painting trash bags so they look like a lumpy stack of books, patrons would be encouraged to perform a valuable community service, without ever knowing it. At least, not the first time ...

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Production: The book is now at the printing stage, but no firm date yet available for release ... but 'promised' for March 2003 ... Preview: The front and back covers are available here, at no cost. You'll only have to buy the bits in between, but you'll also get a hard copy of these covers, gratis. ... There is no more to read >>

STREAMING MEDIA Save time and money Are you fed up and worn out by user education sessions that don't seem to get the point across? Either the people that need them most don't come to scheduled events, or they can't maintain concentration for the required 30 minutes? KFC Library at Harvard may have solved this problem with all of us, with a web-based 1.57 minute streaming video introduction to library use ... ...There is no more to read >>

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION From the Mailbox We are just so happy we didn't accept the US$4.6 million from Nigeria - this week we were offered US$9.5 million from Gabon. This is far more money than we need, so if you'd like to go halves with us, send your bank details to . Here's hoping that none of those nasty spam bots pick up his email address from this web page ... ... There is no more to read >>

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