Biblia, the Warrior Librarian Warrior Librarian Weekly: the zine for librarians that defy classification.
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   Issue #221: September 2005 Late Edition

Warrior Librarian Weekly

Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.

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SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION

MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...

CONFERENCES: Appearances by A.B. Credaro
MEMO: Fall, 2003.
SLAQ: June 29 & 30, 2004.
ASLA NSW: October 22 & 23, 2004.
CPTL: May 19 & 20, 2005.

ACADEMIA: There are more than 25,000 academic institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...

INTERNET: Google now lists over 400,000 hits for a search on "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...

FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...

... ... No more to read here >>


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WORLD NEWS
Hindsight Institute announced

Kofi Annan Futurists at the Australian Foresight Institute may soon be competing for funding, as the Hindsight Institute moves into the preconceptualization phase.

In yet another poorly conceived although well-intentioned venture by the Warrior Librarian, A.B. Credaro authorized the circulation of a press release announcing the proposed structure and goals of the Hindsight Institute.

Noting that the futurists have nothing to lose as they probably won't be around when their predictions fail, those working at Hindsight will be able to analyse various mistakes in the hope of preventing their reoccurence. Which is a whole lot more useful than fanciful guesswork and pet theories by academics and really highly paid boffins.

Although currently lacking funds for establishment, it is planned to email a whole lot of wealthy corporations and gullible Internet users who are silly enough to manage to get their names on emailing lists. At this time, no comment has been received from the United Nations or any of its officials ...

No more to read here >>


LIBRARY SECURITY
"Library Police" no joke

Badge of Library of Congress Police There really are Library Police. Those who have using the term to frighten unpleasant young children and/or gum-chewers will have to come up with a new empty threat in an effort to enforce at least a patina of civilization in their libraries.

According to the Committee on House Administration, a statement by John B. Larson (R) of Connecticut on the motion to permit the Librarian of Congress to hire Library of Congress Police employees, Larson heavily supported the need for the Librarian [of Congress] to provide a full workforce. Of police.

Unfortunately for those libraries suffering budget cuts and reductions to other library staff, who do the apparently unimportant work of keeping libraries functional, such support has not yet been forthcoming ...

No more to read here >>



LIBRARY TOYS
Deluxe Nancy now available

New Nancy Pearl Librarian Doll The extraordinary toymaker Archie McPhee recently released the Delux Edition of The Nancy Pearl Librarian Action Figure, still with the Amazing Shushing Action.

According to McPhee, the original Pearl "made history as the best selling Librarian Action Figure" ever. However, extensive research has failed to locate any other Library Action Figures, although the toy manufacturer was offered the opportunity to produce a Warrior Librarian action figure under licence. Incidently, the offer was never actually declined. Just ignored. Not that the editorial staff at Warrior Librarian care or anything. It's just another name off the Christmas card list, and another one onto the list for Up Against the Wall when the revolution comes. So it's going to save us a lot of postage in the short term, at least. Although we may have digressed a little here.

The new Pearl comes packed in a library diorama, and features "a stylish burgundy suit" as opposed to the other blue one ...

No more to read here >>


MISINFORMATION DISSEMINATION
Chaser News returns

Chaser News Unbelievably satirical news service, CNNN is to return to the programming of Australian Broadcasting Commission, from September 22 although in a much abbreviated form.

Ten weekly four minute episodes of Chaser News Alert will be produced and broadcast every Thursday at 7.55pm on free to air, digital ABC2 and 24 hours 7 days a week at abc.net.au/chaser. It remains to be seen if this format compares in any way to the previous 30 minutes of television broadcast.

The Chaser News Alert email, received at Warrior Librarian Central mere hours before the first episode went live, stated that "the Alerts will feature Andrew Hansen, Chas Licciardello, Dominic Knight and Julian Morrow, with cameo appearances from Senator Bill Heffernan, Dannii Minogue and Princess Diana (via psychic)" ...

No more to read here >>


LANGUAGE AND LITERACY
Experts denounce Language Arts competition

Letter Blocks Katie X (not her real name) firmly agreed that some elements of the state-wide NSW English Competition were cause for concern. Under the microscope particularly were the four questions classified as "spelling"; two of which required the identification of correct suffixes.

A.B. Credaro (which is her real name) was adamant that those questions constituted Grammar, not Spelling.

Two further Language Arts teachers were also surveyed on this issue, but as they were otherwise busy and could not supply a considered answer on the spot - particularly as they wanted to see the question in its original context - their responses were considered statistically invalid. Thus 100% of the focus group concurred ...

No more to read here >>


WLW ORIGINAL LIBRARY HUMOR

MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose

WLW Reader laughing Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 110+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.

However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...

MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
Caution: Will open in new window ...


EDITORIAL SOAPBOX

Biblia, the Warrior Librarian Et tu, Librarian?

As most of we Library Folk are paragons of balance, justice and all-round decency, it seems to always come as something of a shock to encounter colleagues who seem firmly entrenched in bigotry.

Not the type of colleague that would ever DREAM of offending people of different nationalities, ethnicities or religion - which of course is pretty much illegal everywhere - but the type of discrimination where members of their own profession are subjected to intolerance and marginalized because they hold a different perspective.

For those who would rather 'run with the wild ponies' than risk doing anything that their co-workers might view as baaa'd, the best advice has always been stand up, speak up, and continue to assert your right to do whatever it is that the nay-sayers object to. Oh, and keep your fingernails sharp, ...

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

Loud mouth I may be young at heart, but apparently I [am] middle aged in all the other places.

Kathy Lette, Altar Ego

More quotes >>>


COMIC OF THE WEEK
New library comic hits the bookshops

Back page of Rex Libris Once again, the Pulitzer Project has been pushed onto the back burner where it's not so much 'simmering' but more like congealing. But with so many other great things to read, like Slave Labor Publishing's Rex Libris with Dazzling Art by James Turner, is it any wonder?

The press release points out that there are "three instrinsic elements" to maintaining the smooth working order of a library; shelving, record keeping, and "leaving a loaded, well-oiled Glock 17 9mm semi-automatic pistol under the circulation desk in the even that vast hordes of undead come seeking the forbidden lore contained in the Necronomicon".

In true comic book style, Rex battles the bad guys (and undead, plus aliens), enforcing the timely return of library materials - in between bouts of shuffling the dust around in the library ...

No more to read here >>



DAY JOB BLOG

bad hair day A great one-day library conference last week, where a major catfight erupted between two attendees, during a workshop session on leadership. Boy, that sure livened things up! The identity of the two combatants will have to remain concealed for obvious reasons. However, I'd just like to say in my own defence that I never go looking for a fight, but I won't walk away from one either ...

This week an EdTech expo - brilliant displays and demonstrations, plus heaps of free stationary. Probably enough to keep the average library going for a week or two ...

Meanwhile, back at the desk, the Great Metadata Tagging Project seems to be drawing to a close. Yeah, right. Like it's EVER going to stop ...

No more to read here >>


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ADMINISTRIVIA

Editor-in-Chief: A.B.Credaro
Sub-Editor: A.B.Credaro
Night Desk: A.B.Credaro
Head of Production: A.B.Credaro
Proof Reading: R. Shakespeare
Webmaster: A.B. Credaro
Layout: A.B. Credaro
Publicity: A.B.Credaro
Catering: D.E.Credaro
Hair Stylist: A.B. Credaro
Wardrobe Supervisor: A.B. Credaro

PSEUDO-LEGAL DRIVEL

Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.

Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.

Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory.

All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.



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PAGE LAST UPDATED
September 27, 2005