As commercial and retail outlets dust off the boxes of tinsel and pretend to be cheerful in their most hectic time, many libraries have already prebooked their faux Santa Claus.

Once again, the season of joy and goodwill to all people will prove a traumatic event in the lives of many of our younger readers. Not that they will understand why the strange smelling man is sitting in the middle of their reading area, giving them balloons and candy that they've been conditioned to refuse by countless Stranger Danger promotional events.

As far as maximising the outcomes of libraries' promotional budgets, the annual event will serve as an opportunity remind the community that the library is a wonderful, friendly place full of wonderful FREE resources all year round.

At least it will be, for those who don't have anything overdue, haven't violated any technology policies, used their cell phones, or committed any similar crimes against humanity ...

No more to read here >>

The sorry case of a library worker who got into hot water over concern for a squirrel that had taken up residence in "the Michigan City Library" has caused consternation for that library's director, Don Glossinger.

Glossinger, listed as one of the Warrior Librarian Top 5 Library Administrator's in the World, is the director of Michigan City. At his library, wildlife is treated with the same respect as patrons, (and are quite possibly better behaved, but that's just a Warrior Librarian observation based on libraries other than Michigan City).

The unfortunate library worker, and squirrel, were located at the Coolspring branch of LaPorte County Public Library, which is a Michigan City address. Glossinger stated "earlier in the year, we had a pair of mallard ducks who summered on the grounds of Michigan City Public Library without incident. In fact, staff fed them cracked corn and bread" ...

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Remnant counterculturalists have nominated the Whitbread Awards as their 2006-2008 campaign focus. Having failed to bring about world peace, free love, and making scraggy beards fashionable amongst the socially responsible, the now fragmented remains of the once-prolific alternative lifestyle people voted unanimously to direct their combined energies towards an achievable goal.

The Bread Without Borders group is believed to support this campaign, stating that high fibre, low carbohydrate and gluten free products will promote health and longevity.

Various umbrella organizations note that Whitbread, a restaurant chain that sponsors the award, needs to capitalize on the synergy between wholemeal grains and literary accolades and rename both the sponsor organization and the award title to something more wholesome.

The Cracked Wheat and Sunflower Focaccia Awards have been proposed as a substitute to Whitbread ...

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The current year has seen the passing many great thinkers who were also commercially successful writers. These include such luminaries as M. Scott Peck (pictured), Hunter S. Thompson, Dénis Lindbohm, John Fowles, Miriam Roth, Peter Drucker, David Westheimer, Leonora Hornblow, Sansoucy Kathenor, Michael Thwaites and many others.

To commemorate their work, the Warrior Librarian team has collated the Seven Habits of Successful Librarians and made it available to Warrior Librarian readers here for those who have not got their popup blocker engaged. Or even in a serious relationship.

A significant amount of research was involved in the "7 Habits" project; at least two websites were accessed and one person was even asked for their opinion ...

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The strawberry, the blueberry and the raspberry are all well-known; but the search for the elusive liberry continues to remain fruitless.

There was a brief glimmer of hope when a school principal introduced the "Liberrian" to a young cohort during a recent induction ceremony. This was later found to be a false lead.

Meanwhile, at another school, the Deputy Principal congratulated the graduating class of 2005 with the words that they had "done good". Another member of the school's executive spoke at length on the importance of education to young Austrayens [sic].

Of course, what wiff how people speak these days, it probbly don't make no difference ...

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: December 4, 2005. Despite the lack of communication and funding from the United Nations, the personnel at the Hindsight Institute will recess for the (southern hemisphere) Summer Break.

However, given the usual amount of drama that occurs during the Yuletide season, the Institute expects that it will be making a number of press releases early in the new year. A spokeslibrarian for the organization stated that these are likely to be of the nature of social commentary, along with the now standard statements concerning the lack of United Nations correspondence, interest, and money ...

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Yes, Suzanne, there is a Christmas spirit

If this is to genuinely be the Season of Good Will to all people, then perhaps it behoves us all to consider letting bygones be bygones. (Or bogons, for Australian readers.)

In the case of the false "Warrior Librarian" and her blog, I can find it in my heart to let the matter rest until January. After then, the gloves will come off, be thrown down, picked up and put through the wash, but definitely not ironed.

Since the last issue, much correspondence has been received on the topic of copy-catting of Internet pseudonyms; it's nice to know that the vast majority seem to cease and desist after a simple request to do so. Sigh. There's always got to be one who (and I quote) "is not inclined to do so".

Yes, Suzanne, there is a Christmas spirit, but don't expect it to last for 12 months. This is NOT like having an overdue book ...

The ancient Egyptians didn't actually have a 'god' of libraries. But they did have Thoth; responsible for records and scribes. Thoth was unique amongst the ancient gods - he had a first name. Pith. I suspect that this was the origin of librarians' reputation for surliness.

A.B. Credaro. November 24, 2005.

More quotes >>>

This month, our award goes to The Teak Lipstick Fiend, who describes herself as "a librarian and an avid reader". The Fiend took the time to let us know of a spelling mistake in an issue released 20 months ago, and also to take the opportunity to call the Warrior Librarian's vocabulary, TV viewing tastes, and sanity into question ...

Read the letter and reply here >>

A major epiphany has occurred - obviously when at the desk, you have to do work. However, if you could avoid being near anything that might be work related then you can remove a lot of stress from the job! This may well mean a Nobel Prize for services to humanity. But probably not. Besides which, it might not be possible to get the time off work to attend the prize ceremony.

An earlier attempt to write a theatre script for "Metadata Mayhem" has now been abandoned. It was almost impossible to stay awake when writing it; there were too many conflicts between the obvious tragic comedy aspects and the relationship with anything remotely connected with reality.

Unfortunately, due to a number of factors outside anyone's control, I've missed at least three of our worksite's Christmas parties, but with two more to go, there is still hope ...

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The new Renaissance Library Calendar from the good folk at ISIM is now available through their website.

This is a wonderful opportunity for people working in shabby facilities that haven't had a cent spent on them for the last 50 years to drool over the opulence of libraries built before budgets became the primary limitation.

Pictured above is a detail from the calendar's June featured library - the Casanatense Library, Rome Italy (1701), Carlo Fontana Public Library. Sigh ...

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