As politicians in Canberra continue their investigation into the scandal concerning allegations of the Australian Wheat Board (AWB) paid out millions of dollars that may have been used in the War against Sanity, the Australian Library and Information Association (ALIA) has distanced itself from the Jordanian transport company, Alia, who were purported to be transporting grain for the AWB.

But apart from the bookmobiles of individual and institutional members, ALIA does not have access to a transport fleet. However, had they received the AUD$300 million paid to the other Alia, perhaps something could have been arranged ...

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The SoundStorm Sound Effects Library have announced that they have licensed the library to Audio Network, Plc of the United Kingdom for worldwide distribution. Their agreement resolves a U.S. Federal Bankruptcy Court dispute and both look forward to jointly distributing one of the largest modern digital sound libraries in existence.

Rob Nokes, a spokesperson for the company, states that SoundStorm had eight Oscar nominations, won an Academy Award for sound editing on The Ghost and The Darkness, and was known for their extensive sound effects library. Their films included The Fast and Furious, Batman, xXx, Tomb Raider, Space Cowboys, Collateral, Three Kings, L.A. Confidential, The Fugitive, and Star Trek Nemesis.

Nokes added that "parties with non-licensed partial copies of the SoundStorm library are urged to request licensing and avoid mechanical copyright infringement claims by the copyright owner". We think they're pretty serious here, guys ...

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McDonald's, the world's largest restaurant chain, says its fries contain a third more trans fats than previously thought, citing results of a new testing method it began using in December.

As the fast 'food' chain's offerings form a major component in the diet of younger patrons, this may very well account for the decline in young adult readership. It is also possible that diet-related cardiovascular disease may contibute to a continuance of the Greying of the Profession.

The Warrior Librarian Food Advisory code has now been upgraded to yellow ...

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A wide-ranging study has revealed that household drudgery at the place of primary residence negatively impacts on the priorities of information professionals.

OK, it was just one email, but that's 100% of the survey group. All right, it wasn't really even a survey, it was just an informal collegial note. Happy now? That's the sort of nit-picky retentiveness that makes the world a far less pleasant place than it could be if people would just accept what they're told, and not carry on about "ooh, where's the evidence", and "you didn't cite your sources", or that age-old perennial of accusations of "making assumptions".

However, the email DID mention that the respondent spent Sunday evenings doing the ironing, instead of completing work-related reading or having a really good relax before the start of another hectic week ...

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Thanks to alert readers such as Kay A. Buchanan, the Information Services Librarian at UVA Education Library, the library world has been spared yet another embarrassment.

Buchanan noted that the Warrior Librarian Guide to library signage contained subject, pronoun and verb disagreement. This, of course, will necessitate the WLW Hairy Knuckle Brigade being dispatched immediately to the WLW Official Proofreader's home, where they will steal flowers from her garden and possibly even drop a cigarette butt on her lawn.

Some has to accept responsibility (read "blame") for such outrages, and there is no point in having boundaries without consequences ...

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: February 9 2006. Despite the lack of communication (and funding) from the United Nations, the Hindsite Institute has continued delving into events of global significance for analysis of event cascades that might prevent 'history' repeating itself.

This month, the Institute's attention was focused on the Kansas House's bill that will keep children from viewing Internet pornography or check out R-rated movies at public libraries.

At the time of writing, the Institute is awaiting the release of further companion legislation that will prevent young people of impressionable age from seeing offensive graffiti or hearing drunks arguing. Not to mention having access to watching their politicians in action ...

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Hollow victories

Perhaps the former "[XXX] Warrior Librarian", while considering my compromise solution of becoming the "[XXX] Warrior's Librarian", may have gone overboard with the apostrophes. The page title now shows "[XXX]'s Warrior's Librarian".

But the point here is that we were ready to roll out the full set of correspondence; had an actual graphic of the actual person - looking very intense; were prepared to take the whole matter to a legal level on the basis of violation of tradenames; and had truly 'girded the loins' (at least sharpened the fingernails). Now the whole thing has fizzled out, due almost entirely to sensible decision making.

So where's the fun in that?

The path to becoming a Librarian is a difficult one, as they must not only be strong enough to survive their training, but possess enough mental discipline to fend off the daemons and entities of the Warp, as these creatures see the enhanced form and mind of a Librarian as a strong prize. Also, the Librarians are often isolated ... as they carry with them the abilities the Space Marines are expected to abhor and purge in all other beings.

From Wikipedia: Warhammer

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Here's a great idea! Library Trading Cards, featuring real, actual librarians.

The powerfully creative Steven M. Cohen has "flickrized" a utility so that librarians can create baseball-like trading cards to market their talents.

One of the 115 currently available is The Heavy Metal Librarian (pictured), who states in the comments area of his card "... it is a continual source of disappointment that 666 points to such a lame subject heading" ...

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It's been a gripping two weeks, since leave finished and I got chained back to my desk. But as luck would have it, there's a whole new set of 'desk buddies' to use for 'debriefing purposes'.

Can't help wondering how long it will be before they get tired of the whining, although have noticed that in the last few days a couple of them have taken to wearing headphones a lot ...

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Getting tired of patrons that want to 'borrow' a pen or pencil - then never return it? Save on time, budget and temper by NOT throwing away pens that don't work, and pencils that have been sharpened down to almost non-existence.

Keep these in a box under the Circulation Desk, then chirpily present the box following the standard request.

Next issue, we'll show you how to address that pesky old problem of having to hand out change for the photocopier, without having to resort to the expensive option of installing a card-operated machine ...

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