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Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
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When sending an email, remember that including the letters WLW in the subject line increases the chances of your email actually being read.
All correspondence concerning Warrior Librarian becomes the property of the same, and may possibly be published unless a statement is made to the effect that the correspondence is not intended for publication.
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...
CONFERENCES: Appearances by A.B. Credaro
MEMO: Fall, 2003.
SLAQ: June 29 & 30, 2004.
ASLA NSW: October 22 & 23, 2004.
CPTL: May 19 & 20, 2005.
ACADEMIA: There are more than 25,000 academic institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET:
Google now lists over 400,000 hits for a search on "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
... ... No more to read here >>
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SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Aussie librarians innocent of Middle East war involvement
As politicians in Canberra continue their investigation into the scandal concerning allegations of the Australian Wheat Board (AWB) paid out millions of dollars that may have been used in the War against Sanity, the Australian Library and Information Association (ALIA) has distanced itself from the Jordanian transport company, Alia, who were purported to be transporting grain for the AWB.
The [library] Association, famous for producing upbeat, funky posters (such as the one pictured), also merchandises other library promotional products. A number of publications are also produced for the information community, some at quite reasonable prices.
But apart from the bookmobiles of individual and institutional members, ALIA does not have access to a transport fleet. However, had they received the AUD$300 million paid to the other Alia, perhaps something could have been arranged ...
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COPYRIGHT
Hollywood Sound Effects Library dispute settled
The SoundStorm Sound Effects Library have announced that they have licensed the library to Audio Network, Plc of the United Kingdom for worldwide distribution. Their agreement resolves a U.S. Federal Bankruptcy Court dispute and both look forward to jointly distributing one of the largest modern digital sound libraries in existence.
Rob Nokes, a spokesperson for the company, states that SoundStorm had eight Oscar nominations, won an Academy Award for sound editing on The Ghost and The Darkness, and was known for their extensive sound effects library. Their films included The Fast and Furious, Batman, xXx, Tomb Raider, Space Cowboys, Collateral, Three Kings, L.A. Confidential, The Fugitive, and Star Trek Nemesis.
Nokes added that "parties with non-licensed partial copies of the SoundStorm library are urged to request licensing and avoid mechanical copyright infringement claims by the copyright owner". We think they're pretty serious here, guys ...
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HEALTH AND SAFETY
Fries found to contain fat
McDonald's, the world's largest restaurant chain, says its fries contain a third more trans fats than previously thought, citing results of a new testing method it began using in December.
As the fast 'food' chain's offerings form a major component in the diet of younger patrons, this may very well account for the decline in young adult readership. It is also possible that diet-related cardiovascular disease may contibute to a continuance of the Greying of the Profession.
The Warrior Librarian Food Advisory code has now been upgraded to yellow ...
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RESEARCH
Domestic duties interfere with librarians' professional duties
A wide-ranging study has revealed that household drudgery at the place of primary residence negatively impacts on the priorities of information professionals.
OK, it was just one email, but that's 100% of the survey group. All right, it wasn't really even a survey, it was just an informal collegial note. Happy now? That's the sort of nit-picky retentiveness that makes the world a far less pleasant place than it could be if people would just accept what they're told, and not carry on about "ooh, where's the evidence", and "you didn't cite your sources", or that age-old perennial of accusations of "making assumptions".
However, the email DID mention that the respondent spent Sunday evenings doing the ironing, instead of completing work-related reading or having a really good relax before the start of another hectic week ...
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LANGUAGE AND LITERACY
Guilty as charged
Thanks to alert readers such as Kay A. Buchanan, the Information Services Librarian at UVA Education Library, the library world has been spared yet another embarrassment.
Buchanan noted that the Warrior Librarian Guide to library signage contained subject, pronoun and verb disagreement. This, of course, will necessitate the WLW Hairy Knuckle Brigade being dispatched immediately to the WLW Official Proofreader's home, where they will steal flowers from her garden and possibly even drop a cigarette butt on her lawn.
Some has to accept responsibility (read "blame") for such outrages, and there is no point in having boundaries without consequences ...
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WORLD NEWS
Hindsight Institute
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: February 9 2006. Despite the lack of communication (and funding) from the United Nations, the Hindsite Institute has continued delving into events of global significance for analysis of event cascades that might prevent 'history' repeating itself.
This month, the Institute's attention was focused on the Kansas House's bill that will keep children from viewing Internet pornography or check out R-rated movies at public libraries.
At the time of writing, the Institute is awaiting the release of further companion legislation that will prevent young people of impressionable age from seeing offensive graffiti or hearing drunks arguing. Not to mention having access to watching their politicians in action ...
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| WLW ORIGINAL LIBRARY HUMOR |
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 110+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.
However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...
MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
Caution: Will open in new window ...
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Hollow victories
For over 6 months, the Case of the Faux Warrior Librarian has consumed much brain space. Since the last edition of WLW was published, the matter has now been resolved.
Perhaps the former "[XXX] Warrior Librarian", while considering my compromise solution of becoming the "[XXX] Warrior's Librarian", may have gone overboard with the apostrophes. The page title now shows "[XXX]'s Warrior's Librarian".
But the point here is that we were ready to roll out the full set of correspondence; had an actual graphic of the actual person - looking very intense; were prepared to take the whole matter to a legal level on the basis of violation of tradenames; and had truly 'girded the loins' (at least sharpened the fingernails). Now the whole thing has fizzled out, due almost entirely to sensible decision making.
So where's the fun in that?
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The path to becoming a Librarian is a difficult one, as they must not only
be strong enough to survive their training, but possess enough mental
discipline to fend off the daemons and entities of the Warp, as these
creatures see the enhanced form and mind of a Librarian as a strong prize.
Also, the Librarians are often isolated ... as they carry with them the abilities the Space Marines are expected to abhor and purge in all other beings.
From Wikipedia: Warhammer
More quotes >>>
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Library Trading Cards
Here's a great idea! Library Trading Cards, featuring real, actual librarians.
The powerfully creative Steven M. Cohen has "flickrized" a utility so that librarians can create baseball-like trading cards to market their talents.
One of the 115 currently available is The Heavy Metal Librarian (pictured), who states in the comments area of his card "... it is a continual source of disappointment that 666 points to such a lame subject heading" ...
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It's been a gripping two weeks, since leave finished and I got chained back to my desk. But as luck would have it, there's a whole new set of 'desk buddies' to use for 'debriefing purposes'.
Can't help wondering how long it will be before they get tired of the whining, although have noticed that in the last few days a couple of them have taken to wearing headphones a lot ...
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Getting tired of patrons that want to 'borrow' a pen or pencil - then never return it? Save on time, budget and temper by NOT throwing away pens that don't work, and pencils that have been sharpened down to almost non-existence.
Keep these in a box under the Circulation Desk, then chirpily present the box following the standard request.
Next issue, we'll show you how to address that pesky old problem of having to hand out change for the photocopier, without having to resort to the expensive option of installing a card-operated machine ...
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Weird Calendar Days
Saint's Feast Days
Birthdays of famous authors
National Days
Historic Events
U.N. Special Events
Editor-in-Chief:
A.B.Credaro
Sub-Editor:
A.B.Credaro
Night Desk:
A.B.Credaro
Head of Production:
A.B.Credaro
Proof Reading:
R. Shakespeare
Webmaster:
A.B. Credaro
Layout:
A.B. Credaro
Publicity:
A.B.Credaro
Catering:
D.E.Credaro
Hair Stylist:
A.B. Credaro
Wardrobe Supervisor:
A.B. Credaro
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.
Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory.
All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
THE SPACE BELOW IS FOR OFFICE USE ONLY
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