At her farewell speech on finally departing from her previous workplace, A.B.Credaro roused the group with stirring rhetoric, a smattering of jokes that people were polite enough to laugh at - generally at the right time - and gave a brief outline of her short term plans.

These included an undertaking to "develop a barcode wanding technique that will leave library patrons breathless with admiration"; "to take date due stamping to heights never before witnessed in the history of librarianship"; and "to maintain the high standard of photocopying that has been the hallmark of [her] first two weeks" on the new job.

The text of the speech has been made available here to those who were not able to attend the farewell due to emergency dental appointments or suddenly remembered previous commitments ...

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The Warrior Librarian Statistical Analysts have uncovered a disturbing trend amongst library professionals. The incidence of Cherophobia appears to be escalating rapidly, particularly in the areas of reference, circulation, accession, management, cataloguing and end processing.

Based on nomination rates of the double opt-in subscriptions to the completely free WLW update newsletter service, where you aren't even asked for your bank details - heck, you're even told NOT to send any money, let alone the fact that your email box isn't even jammed up with announcements; just the mere once a week or a fortnight, if you're lucky ....

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SCHOOL LIBRARIES

Another one bites the dust?

A few short years ago, the principal of Cambridge Park High School (NZ) eventually resigned due to global outrage, when she decided to close the school library and turn the building into a coffee shop. It was her belief that the students needs could be served at the local academic library.

A flood of correspondence from international library associations and individual protests from near and - literally - far followed, supporting the local school community.

Will history repeat itself as plans are made for the new multi-million dollar library at a western Sydney systemic (non-government) school to be turned into a 'learning center'? The library resources are to be moved out into an area currently known as The Dungeon. Notably, this proposed alternative 'venue' requires water-proofing before the move can begin.

One observer commented "it's the same as turning the new state-of-the-art Seattle Library into a shopping center because it has escalators and plenty of natural light". This story comes hot on the heels of a resurgence of semi-authenticated rumors of the replacement of all library professional staff with clerical officers. As they say in the classics, 'watch this space' ...

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LITERARY EVENTS

Elderly reader still popular

The Cat in the Hat turns 50 next month, and Australian libraries plan a nation-wide read-aloud on March 2 at 2.36pm, according to the Sun Herald's Undercover column.

Despite extensive investigations by the WLW Investigative Unit, it is still unclear what penalties might be imposed on library mavericks who start at 2.34pm or those - through ineptitude, poor organization, or timetabling - do not begin until 2.38pm.

However, event organizers are confident that the vast majority of participants will maintain the integrity of the profession by adhering to the official starting time ...

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AUTHORS

Biblia "pipped at the post" by Idol winner

The Warrior Librarian's dream of simultaneously publishing a best-seller and being in the Top 10 of just about any music chart were dashed when the mainstream media released the news that Australian Idol winner Damien Leith had just achieved that status.

Leith signed a book deal with HarperCollins for his debut novel, which was completed before he won Idol last year. The singer's compilation of hits from the show was No. 1 in the album charts for five weeks, and he's currently recording his debut studio album with Sony.

To date, the only publically accessible recording of the Warrior Librarian's magnificent voice is as a 'voice actor' in a set of educational online multimedia glossaries, which hasn't yet rated in the music industry. Probably because the charts are based on sales, and the online glossaries are free. But then again, there could be other reasons ...

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In the light of the release of the seminal International Copyright Shell Game paper, it was interesting to hear a visiting LIS professor (speaking at the TAFE 20:20 Vision conference last week) speak of the situation of Academic Librarians, forced to buy the papers that their own academics had given away to scholarly journals.

One wonders if those same academics are aware of the millions of dollars that are being paid in royalties for their work - but of course, not to them. A case of "we have not yet begun to fight"? Or more along the lines of "we" have not yet realised there is a fight waiting?

"Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistency. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty. Think big."

David Burnham, Chicago architect (1864-1912)

More quotes >>>

"The World’s Fastest Librarian is a twelve minute short film following Mary, a fictional public librarian at the Madison (WI) Public Library", according to the description at Google Video.

Unfortunately we had to do a lot of other stuff which mainly involved saving the planet from little falling colored balls, so to be quite honest, we didn't get much of a chance to spend our valuable time looking for stuff to keep you amused.

Just seen your website and think it is a hoot. Are the other lessons available to access?

Kind regards,
Bert Washington
Information Manager
[contact details withheld by WLW]

Hi Bert,
Thanks for taking the time to write, and yes -there are always other lessons to be learnt!!!