Habit 1: Proactivity, fanaticism, and downright aggression
A popular though unacknowledged (here) website notes that "Vision without action is a dream; action without vision is a nightmare". Are there any other words that ring as true as this? Well, of course, but let's stay on task here.
In brief, if you're not going to Do Something About It, just go back to reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. Continuous whining only irritates people. Sure, kicking and screaming aren't going to win you any friends either, but at least you'll get your own way. Eventually.
Habit 2: From Librarianship to World Domination - yes, YOU can!
Although the cynical may doubt the reality of achieving this goal, any tin-pot world dictator will tell you that it doesn't matter where you start, only where you finish.
Of course, they always come to some sort of nasty end and are psychotic sociopaths with no conscience, but they never let these small handicaps interrupt their focus. History has never forgotten those who led military dictatorships, nor brought about senseless war.
Habit 3: Prioritization and Delegation - keeping the trivial in some else's in-tray
How much of your precious time is consumed with doing what ever the heck you are being paid to do? If you've noticed that you're rushed off your feet whilst the person next to you is cruising through their day, YOU are doing something wrong!
If your co-workers claim to also be busy, had you considered the vast untapped human resources that walk into your library every day? Sure, they're not trained for library work, but many will be thrilled to be asked to fix the photocopier, show someone how to set up an email account, download music, scrape gum off chairs, and maybe even do the odd bit of cataloguing. If you don't ask, you'll never know.
Habit 4: Believe in yourself
"Boy, this is a pretty old one" I can hear you thinking. But hey! Unless you are in fact an imaginary character, why shouldn't you at least suspect that you are a real person.
If you manage to convince yourself that you actually exist, then you're well on the way to getting others to agree with you. No longer a faceless servant to the masses, you can rise to a servant with a face! (If you're incredibly ugly, you can skip this one.)
Habit 5: Exceptio probat regulam
Where would any self-respecting list of anything be if it didn't include at least one Latin phrase plucked from a website that's hopefully been written by someone who knows what they are talking about? After all, that's the very essence of online content, isn't it?
So, "the exception proves the rule". For you to become a highly successful librarian, you will have to first let go of the concept that hard work and dedication will help you achieve your ambitions. For proof, look at your colleagues, working away in intense concentration. As they will be doing tomorrow. And the next day. If you want to be the exception, you KNOW what you have to do now. Except you could also become unemployed - it's up to you to weigh the risks against the possible benefits.
Habit 6: Synergy, empowerment, paradigms, viability and other jargon
Talk the talk of management! It will give you a patina of authority, a voice that should be listened to. Much easier than learning a foreign language, your engagement in the mode of articulation of your corporate ecology will contribute to the implementation of your personal agenda.
Besides which, not even the suits themselves understand what they're saying. Don't be intimidated!
Habit 7: Imagination, ingenuity, innovation, inspiration, and inventiveness
Yes, it's the five "I"s of success. It really should have been seven, as this is the seventh and thus final one of the 7 Habits of Highly Successful Librarians.
But seeing how these sounded more suited than "Fabrication, falsehood, fancy, fantasy, fiction, figment, and forgery", it's probably better to go with the 5Is. Suit yourself though - if you haven't got access to a thesaurus, you're really not going to get very far in life or in your career. Let alone your plans for world domination!
USE YOUR NEW POWERS WISELY. YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE.
UNLESS YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER OR SOMETHING.
A.B. Credaro © 2005