      |
Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
Visit the WLW Online Store to get apparel, gifts, whatever. 100% money back guarentee. Not a bad deal.
 WLW Guide to Library Toys and Gifts
Note: Don't bother leaving the URL of your porn site, your business or company (unless it's library-related) or any other crap - it will be deleted almost immediately.
Readers are invited to submit suggestions for Diversion of the Week, Website of the Week and other column features. Other newsworthy items are also welcomed, especially those accompanied by appropriate, copyright-free graphics. When submitting items, please provide your contact details for verification purposes only. Also clearly state or show how you would like to be acknowledged (or if you wish to remain anonymous).
A.B.Credaro Sub-Editor: A.B.Credaro Night Desk: A.B.Credaro Head of Production: A.B.Credaro Proof Reading Webmaster: A.B. Credaro Layout: A.B. Credaro Publicity: A.B.Credaro Catering: D.E.Credaro Best Boy: Y.V. Dubow (Ms) (Also provides pro bono and ad hoc legal counsel) Hair Stylist: A.B. Credaro Wardrobe Supervisor: A.B. Credaro
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not. Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use. Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory. All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
|
ELECTRONIC PUBLISHING Warrior Librarian may scoop pool
Speaking from the small home office that she refers to as 'The Executive Suite of Warrior Librarian Central', she added that she'd "... even encountered at least four administrators who run such an emphathetic, exemplary library service that I'd almost be prepared to work under their stewardship. But they said that they didn't currently have any vacancies." Credaro would not comment on plans for the next five years, apart from the possibility of a lecture tour if she could find somewhere that didn't know very much about her, and another book - depending on her ironing backlog. However, if the family residence acquired a swimming pool, she would have to spend time helping to maintain it ... ...No more to read here >> CATALOGING Subject heading wars escalate
Tszyu, described by the media as "a really nice guy", has been reassured that he won't be stripped of his International Boxing Federation championship belt if he provides input into the debate. Berman, the former Head Cataloger at Hennepin County Library in Minnesota, became a Library Living Legend after his well-documented cataloging disagreements, and his resignation from Hennepin in 1999. However, indications are at this stage that neither Berman nor LOC are aware of rumors of the boxer's possible involvement. Indeed, Tszyu himself may be unaware of the hearsay. Weighing into the fight is Steve Fesenmaier, State Data Coordinator of Library Development for the West Virginia Library Commission. In an email to the LOC from Fesenmaier, revealed almost exclusively to WLW, Fesenmaier requested that the LOC consider hiring Berman in the capacity of consultant. However, there was no mention of Tszyu nor his possible role in assisting in the resolution of the matter ... ...No more to read here >> SECURITY Ashcroft @ the Library
In his former position, he was entitled to certain congressional library privileges, but as a member of the public he must go through the normal form submission procedures and checks. To date, Ashcroft has not commented on the extraordinary length of time that appears to be necessary for the processing of his application ... ...No more to read here >> OVERDUE STRATEGIES Faking it
Anecdotal evidence suggests that (very) occasionally the borrower is correct; which can cause a modicum of embarrassment to the librarian on desk duty. Larger libraries with multiple staff have the luxury of being able to point the finger of blame towards another shift, but one-person libraries miss out in this department. Sure, they get all the advantages of making many of the management and operational decisions, but even patrons won't wear the old Technology Malfunction excuse indefinitely ... ...No more to read here >> LIBRARY PROMOTION Rarer rarest bird sought
The species thought to be raising the profile of the arts has not been definitively identified yet. Its unique call of arrrht-arrrht, arrrht-arrrht sends a clear message, much like the "owwwt-owwwt" call often heard at library closing time. The search is now on for an avian species with a call similar to "library-library, library-library", after the completely uninspiring results obtained using the common domestic chicken (Gallus gallus) and its "book-book, book-book" ... ...No more to read here >> WORKPLACE RELATIONS Survey results no-brainer
The primary postulate was that a 100% success rate was expected, but this did not take into account the Collegial Nark Factor. Despite the fact that the survey was probably not statistically valid, due to a very small sample number and an ill-conceived sample population, a large number of tables and graphs were produced in an impressive volume of documentation, which after all, is what's really important ... ...No more to read here >> YOUNG ADULTS Fiction out of vogue
Whilst he conceded that there was a minimal amount of humor in the items, the content was generally absurd, asinine, doltish, fatuous, imbecilic, ludicrous, lunatic, moronic, and witless. Only he didn't use those words ... ...No more to read here >>
After a $100 million expenditure on its development, it will use more of the content from MSEncarta® although not the entire product. Initially offering 11 choices of languages and a user proximity search (as opposed to a search term proximity facility), Microsoft® says its site will sort through more than 5 billion web pages. The fact that Google® announced the day before the Microsoft® release that it had increased its database to 8 billion web pages was merely a coincidence. Apparently. Google® last expanded its web index to 4.3 billion pages in February when Yahoo Inc.® unveiled yet another upgraded search engine. Would the last company® in the search engine industry please turn off the lights® when they leave ... ...No more to read here >>
A truckload of really heavy reading - and some of it is not especially pleasant. (I'm speaking here of the Pulitzer Project, not work. Although the same is often true there. Not that I'm whining or anything, you understand. Well, yes, I guess I actually am, but only to a certain extent. Not that it ever does any good, but there's a small amount of relief that 'debriefing' always brings.) The latest addition to the WLW Corporate Library is Ari Alexander Boulanger's book, How to entertain people you hate (ISBN ), the best $2.50 I've spent for a long time. Apart from a wonderful double expresso yesterday, but that was lunch. Which is also pretty important. Boulanger's primer is full of politically incorrect advice, a heavily biased perspective, promotion of disfunctionality within families, and devaluation of attempts at generational communication. There doesn't appear to be a down-side ... ... No more to read here >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 90+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read. However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ... MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
... ... No more to read here >> |
Blessed are the cracked, for they let the light in. Spike Milligan
The history of warrior librarianship, right back to 669 B.C., is detailed here, for those cynics who thought I made it all up ... ...No more to read >>
Speaking at the first worldwide health research summit, Dr. Bernard Pecoul of Medecins San Frontiers (Doctors Without Borders) said that "... corporations should open up their laboratories and libraries. It won't earn them any money, but it will improve their image ...", in order to help fight diseases of poverty ... Only six hours before the event, Catholic News released the information that Sydney Anglican Archbishop Peter Jensen will debate author Thomas Kenneally on issues arising from the best-selling book The Da Vinci Code'. Obviously CN isn't chasing publicity ... The continuing trend in appointing people with no library experience to top library jobs, such as Florida U's appointment of a physicist to head their School of Information Studies, may herald a trend for neurosurgeons to be replaced by master plumbers, although probably doesn't ... Best-selling author Colleen McCollough (The Thorn Birds, An Indecent Obsession, Caesar's Women, et al) has defended a 40 year history of rapes and sex attacks on Pitcairn Island, saying that it is a local custom and should be left alone ... Is there something paradoxical about a Friends of the Library group organizing a book give-away for their patrons? Why not a special library borrower card ... Congratulations to the News-Leader for pointing out to parents that if they want their kids to improve their literacy, the best place to start is with doing some actual reading ... Journalist Barbara Ehrenreich won the $100,000 Puffin/Nation Prize: for her commitment to social justice, which is awarded annually to an American citizen who has challenged the status quo "through distinctive, courageous, imaginative, socially responsible work of significance." Ehrenreich is the author of the best-selling Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by In America (Metropolitan Books, 2001), a chronicle of her attempt to live on the minimum wage ... What on Earth would possess a library supervisor to hold up his library as an example of one of the worst libraries in the country? And THEN suggest that an outside organization be appointed to run it ... Australia's well-publicized remedial program, Reading Recovery, only helps one in every three children, according to a world-acclaimed expert. The program, which relies heavily on the use of black and white photocopied pages of text has been found to be not very effective. Who is surprised? Strangely, there has been no additional funding for actual library books, nor interest in an enquiry into this situation. Or even reference to existing research ... Edward De Bono and Robert Heller have launched the Thinking Managers website. The press release does not contain an apostrophe in the headline, so it could be a website for managers who think, nor possibly a virtual virtuality ... For those completely fed up with the Clinton Library Opening hype, take comfort in the fact that it will soon be over. Interestingly, the (UK)Economist described it as "trailer-home chic", whilst a Reuters journalist pointed out that it would house "memories of Whitewater, welfare reform and Monica Lewinsky", at a cost of a mere $165 million ...
Nov 1: Read A Book With a Yellow Cover Day Nov 2: International Day for Release of Repressed Emoticons Nov 3: Melville Dewey Joke Day Nov 4: Wear Your Clothes Backwards Day Nov 5: Caffeine Addiction Awareness Day Nov 6: Transgender Puzzlebook Day Nov 7: Archive Storage Vermin Feeding Day Nov 8: Remove a Patron's Body Jewelry Day Nov 9: Tell Someone Their Breath Stinks Day Nov 10: National Leave Work at Finishing Time Day Nov 11: Pretend to read an Upside-Down Book Day Nov 12: Tip Paint Over a Cellphone User Day Nov 13: Pointless Conversation Day Nov 14: National Roadkill Kindness Day Nov 15: Internet-Free Pull-the-Plug Day Nov 16: Epidermiology Journals Celebration Day Nov 17: Give a Puppy to an Unattended Child Day Nov 19: International Delete Everything from Your e-Mail Box Day Nov 19: Scribble on a Graffitist Day Nov 20: Narolepsy Pride Day Nov 21: Nov 22: International 394.2 Celebration Day Nov 23: Lose the Plot Day Nov 24: National Act Surprised at Getting an Email Virus Day Nov 25: Celebration-Free Celebration Day Nov 26: Laugh Histerically at Every Reference Question Day Nov 27: Sit Down for 10 Minutes Day Nov 28: International Format C:/ Day Nov 29: Take a Poem to Lunch Day Nov 30: Catch Your Breath Day
Saint's Feast Days Birthdays of famous authors National Days Historic Events U.N. Special Events
|
This landmark edition of WLW marks 200 individual collations of reporting, creating, satirizing, and subverting library-related news, plus around another 100 stand-alone humor pages. Editor and writer of WLW, Amanda Credaro, stated that "since this journal's humble beginnings in mid-1999, I've met some wonderfully committed library folk, many creative and imaginative information professionals, and even a few authors who demonstrated they were witty and personable (and some that weren't) beyond their textual constructs."
The world champion boxer, Australian Kostya Tszyu, has remained silent on suggestions that he may weigh into the continuing dispute between Sandy Berman and the Library of Congress.
Widely reported is the fact that (U.S.) outgoing Attorney-General John Ashcroft ridiculed librarians for their concerns regarding the use of the Patriot Act to obtain reading records, calling them "hysterical". It seems that Ashcroft is now experiencing some difficulties in obtaining a library borrowing card.
The most common cause for dissent at the circulation desk is the most frequent response to overdue notices. "But I already returned it/that/them". The average patron can be quite adamant that they no longer have the items, whilst library staff can only rely on their circulation records.
Lateral thinkers and information scientists are set to further investigate the link between the latest resurgence of popular interest in the arts, and the call of an extremely rare parrot.
A recent survey of communications in the workplace revealed that 98.3% of obscene gestures made behind managers' backs were undetected, and 99.7% inappropriate signals aimed at closed doors were unsuspected.
High school senior, Colin Grouchman, has stated that he's sick of the same photgraph being used whenever he makes a statement. In fact, Grouchman requested a public notification of the fact that almost all of the statements attributed to him were fictional constructs concocted by WLW in a pathetic maneuver to appeal to a wider audience by duplicity and subterfuge.
Microsoft® has announced the release of yet another search engine, with eSchool News® touting it to "students, teachers, and librarians". The jauntily named MSN Search® tool will replace the previous one that was powered by subsidiaries of Yahoo!® database, also owned by Microsoft®.
Things have been really chaotic lately. Not that they aren't always that way, but what with the 200th edition of WLW, a conference, being up to my neck in you-know-what at work (which is also fairly normal), there's also been the ongoing Pulitzer Project.
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services 
CONFERENCES: Past and future appearances by A.B. Credaro
ACADEMIA: There are more than 80 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET: Google now lists over 9,000 for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
