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Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
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A.B.Credaro Sub-Editor: A.B.Credaro Night Desk: A.B.Credaro Head of Production: A.B.Credaro Proof Reading Webmaster: A.B. Credaro Layout: A.B. Credaro Publicity: A.B.Credaro Catering: A.B.Credaro Hair Stylist: A.B. Credaro Wardrobe Supervisor: A.B. Credaro
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not. Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use. Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory. All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwize stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
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COLLECTION DEVELOPMENT Free publicity confusion
Apparently skeptical of the claim that the photograph was intended for use in a [named] satirical online journal for non-stereotypical librarians, the book seller declined to provide any further information or contact details. Although there was no actual physical violence, the ultimate outcome is the advice is that a number of online and alternative-type bookstores have similar titles available for purchase ... ...No more to read here >> COOKWARE-ON-HEAD LIBRARY DAY Cookies at 641
However, WIC Information Librarian Kristen Campbell demonstrates that being a professional with high standards is no barrier when it comes to some light-hearted fun. Despite the cruelty of being confined in a worksite that is obviously cookware-deficient, Campbell improvised, substituting a cookie tin for cranial decoration as a warm-up to the International Cookware-on-Head Library Day promotion. There is little doubt that the confectionary from the tin was purchased with Campbell's own funds. Preliminary enquiries have revealed that the staff lounge in this library probably also doesn't have a cappuccino machine, donut maker, comfortable lounges, a Cordon Bleu chef on stand-by, nor any of those other necessities of life. Sure, administrators can cough up funds for coffee shops for patrons, but when it comes to staff comfort ... ...No more to read here >> PUBLISHING NEWSBiographer may be fiction writer
In Australia on a special visa sponsored by publishers Random House, the author is now apparently in hiding somewhere in remote central Queensland, claiming to fear for her life from the non-Western religious culture who was unhappy with her exposé. However, claims have now surfaced that Khouri is a US citizen who left Jordan at the age of three and lived in the US for all of her life. Except for one week spend in Jordan. Mainstream media reports include an FBI interest in Ms Khouri's whereabouts. With over 250,000 copies sold in Australia alone, bookstores have apparently withdrawn the book from sale. Which seems a shame, considering all the free publicity it's getting ... ...No more to read here >> LIBRARY ADMINISTRATIONPatrons confirm suspicions
It's probably also not a good idea to leave doors open if there is a serial chain-saw murderer living next door, or anything Steven King-ish around, or door-knocking politicians - which can be even more scary. But apart from that, it should be pretty much O.K. Unless it's a library workroom door. WLW has received documentation from an anonymous patron, proving (to the patron) that libraries DO keep all the good stuff locked up somewhere else ... ...No more to read here >> CONSUMER LIBRARIANSHIP Avoiding the weekly grind
only operates on weekends, in the weekly markets (think gigantic yard sale) in western Sydney's Parklea area. In fact, John is looking for a buyer for this business, which grosses around $40K per year. He added that he's only selling it because he wants "his weekends back". In an exclusive interview with the Warrior Librarian, John stated that he's looking for offers in the vicinity of AUD$100,000 which includes around 40,000 books - all on a database on his laptop. He promised a minimum of one month of support, to help with sourcing and learning to operate his database. Sure, you'll still have to fund-raise to get the capital. Plus continuing to deal with the public, but at least there won't be any problem with unreturned or damaged books. And it'll only be a two-day grind ... ...No more to read here >> SOCIAL COMMENTARYBook borrowing vs purchasing
...There was a lot more, but trust us, this is enough >>
Having been set the task of investigating and defining 'Quality in relation to literature', and then reading only the introduction of Laxness' book Independent People, it seems that the Division was not able to fulfil its core function. Apparently most of their allotted time was spent playing computer games and web-surfing. Warrior Librarian Weekly regrets any inconvenience this may have caused to its readers, and suggests consideration of an Internet search for the definition of 'quality in relation to literature'. Don't forget that 'in' and 'to' are common words that may not be included in the search ... ... No more to read here >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence is suggesting that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 90+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read. However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ... MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
... ... No more to read here >> |
International Cookware-on-Head Library Day; August 2, 2004. Send your photographs to WLW for a chance to win an autographed poster.
Television has been held responsible for everything from childhood obesity to the continued electoral success of the Howard government. Julia Lawrinson (Australian childrens author)
Thanks to The Scout Report for bringing the Oxymorons website to our attention. According to SR, the website has lists, discussion boards, well-known quotes by famous people ... There is no more >>
Hal Niedzviecki recently wrote an opinion piece entitled "Libraries should mind their own business", which suggests (amongst other things) that the work that libraries do to promote themselves is aligning them to book publishers and thereby undermining their primary functions. Mr Niedzviecki was invited to expand on his views for publication in WLW. His reply was: thanks for getting in touch. i really don't think i would be much good to you, as this is the only article i've ever written about libraries! i'm not much of an expert or anything, and everything i have to say is in the piece. but good luck with warrior library and i'm glad that you enjoyed my piece! There is no more >>
Realia: The British Museum may inadvertantly have started a civil war in Australia, as they are asking for the return of Aboriginal artifacts that were loaned for a display. A spokesperson for the group of activists, which is threatening high court action, stated "..we are politically active, we are articulate, we are professional.." The spokesperson responded to the BM's claim that their continued custodianship was for the benefit of mankind as "bullshit" ... Political Confusion: Was John Kerry merely suffering from fatigue, or did he really not know the difference between a museum or a library? Either way, what does this bode for future library funding ... Academic Libraries: Isn't it nice to know that students such as Matthew Johnson, a sophomore in engineering at NCSU, value the services of libraries. Speaking of the closure of the local Starbucks, he stated that if "I need[ed] a cup of coffee, I go to the Hill of Beans in the library. It's a lot cheaper than Starbucks, and I can always use my Board Bucks to pay for it." ... Library Crime: Reading like the script for a B-grade movie, "the Modoc County Sheriff's Office asked the California Highway Patrol for assistance. A CHP helicopter, a canine unit and officers responded, joining units from the sheriff's office and Alturas Police Department." Target of the hunt was an escaped felon, now also charged with a huge list of crimes. "Campbell was charged with armed robbery, possession of stolen property, burglary, brandishing a weapon, resisting and delaying an officer, and trespass. In the impounded vehicle were found the groceries, and books stolen from the Modoc County Library. The books resulted in an additional count of possession of stolen property" ... What support do libraries (and reading, literacy, etc) get in Malaysia? Deputy Education Minister Datuk Dr Mahadzir Mohd Khir said the Government was in favour of reducing book prices to encourage more people to read. We are thinking of speaking to publishers and booksellers to lower prices, especially of imported books, he told reporters after a meeting with five other ministries on this matter at the library. The other ministries were Higher Education, Culture, Arts and Heritage, Housing and Local Government, Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs, and Information ...
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Doonside, NSW: An unnamed purveyor of left-wing political print resources was confronted by a camera-wielding librarian earlier this week. When asked if he would give permission to be photographed with a selection of his offerings, he agreed without authenticating the photographer's explanation.
Holmesglen, Vic: The Waverley Information Commons Library at Holmesglen Institute of TAFE in Victoria Australia is (now) internationally acknowledged to be a center of excellence in information access, study facilities, bibliographic instruction, and resource adaptation. (And possibly a great place for a quick nap. But that was just a few of the college students, and some of the more senior faculty staff. Plus some people who wandered onto the campus because the local public library was closed.)
The Australian Department of Immigration is looking closely into the authenticity of the claims of writer Norma Khouri. Her book, Forbidden Love was marketed as "the true story of a Jordanion girl who was the victim of an honor kiling after a secret chaste relationship was discovered".
Berrima, NSW: What harm can there be in leaving a door open? Apart from stable doors and the possibility of resultant bolting horses, or maybe if you live somewhere really cold and it gets draughty and you get a chill that develops into full blown pneumonia and complications set in and you let your medical insurance lapse. Then you could be in deep trouble.
Parklea, NSW: Information professionals who are suffering burn-out from the regular grind, fund-raising, and dealing with the public, might like to consider an alternative, particularly if they aren't heavily committed in the psychological sense to digital information or to print-alternatives and multimedia.
Grandma's House: I don't rightly know about buyin' books from stores an' such when you can get 'em for free from a library. Seems like a complete waste of money to go buyin' when they's free. Mind you, it can be difficult for folks like me to get them books back on time, what with the fares an' all. Not to mention them bus times changin' all over the place, and they never tell you. Although they reckon that they advertise the bus times all over the place, but they can't really expect us to read all that tiny print stuck up there on the wall like we was all ten feet tall and carryin' a telescope with us when we go to pick up the pension check. Not like THAT is worth'n the trouble neither, what with all the cost of livin' goin' up all the time, and people like us what's worked hard all our lives to get a government payout that wouldn't keep a chicken in corn ...
It is without any regret or hesitation that the recently formed Warrior Librarian Classics Division has now been restructured out of existence, with personnel now re-allocated to other positions, mainly involving hot water and tea bags.
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services 
CONFERENCES: Past and future appearances by A.B. Credaro
ACADEMIA: There are now 51 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET: Google now lists more than 3,000 hits for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
